Opening Gambits: Two Structures for Introductions to Academic Essays

Have you ever watched a YouTube video? Of course you have! (If not, here’s a great place to start→ 😉)

The most important part of any YouTube video is the first 30 seconds. If those opening moments don't capture our attention straight away, we're immediately off to another video.

Why is that?

• We're busy, so our time is valuable; we can't just sit around and wait for some YouTuber to get to the point;
• YouTube gives us plenty of options for other videos to watch, so why invest our attention in this one?
• We watch videos that make us feel a certain way, and we feel disrespected and bored when a video wastes our time.

This first 30 seconds of a video is the audition for the viewer's attention.

Likewise, the introduction of an academic essay is the audition for the reader's attention.

The introduction to your essay is the only chance you've got to convince the reader that your writing is worth her attention. So it better rock.

Fortunately, two legendary institutions of academic writing - Little Red Schoolhouse at the University of Chicago and the Knight Writing Institute at Cornell University -  have produced blueprints for introductions that get right to the point.

More importantly, these outlines also put the pieces in place for a great argumentative essay (and there is no difference between an argumentative essay and an academic essay; academic writing is argument writing!).

The Old Structure

Most English as a Foreign Language textbooks teach the same basic 3-part structure for writing essay introductions:

• Attention grabber (aka ‘Hook’);
• Connecting ideas;
• Thesis Statement.

Call it ‘the paint by numbers approach to writing.’ Its simplicity makes it popular among mainstream EFL textbooks, but it is responsible for the bland, lifeless essays that students loathe to write and teachers are pained to read. Nevertheless, this approach to English writing appears time and time again in mainstream EFL textbooks because it makes students and teachers feel like something has been learned without requiring them to think.

This approach is fine for a language arts classroom, where the focus is getting students comfortable with the language in general.

I see it all the time at my university: students who learned these cookie-cutter writing techniques at private language academies think that all they need to do to write an essay is follow the EFL textbook formula.

So you get introduction paragraphs like this:

What is your biggest fear? Many people are afraid of snakes, spiders, and the dark. But did you know that the biggest fear of most people is public speaking? Let me introduce public speaking.

What is your biggest fear? This essay opens with a rhetorical question which, as one popular EFL textbook advises, is a great way to capture reader attention: “hooks can be questions, quotes, descriptions, or other interesting pieces of information that attract the reader.”

If anyone out there actually felt a pique of curiosity upon reading that sentence I wish you would write to me and let me know. As far as I can tell, readers are not attracted to information; they’re motivated to solve problems. There is a place for rhetorical questions in academic writing, but ‘grabbing attention’ in an introduction is not it.

Many people are afraid of snakes, spiders, and the dark. But did you know that the biggest fear of most people is public speaking? Another rhetorical question. These ‘connecting sentences’ don’t really add anything to the writing, they just provide stuffing between the ‘attention grabber’ and the thesis.

Let me introduce public speaking. Quite a thesis statement, but we can’t fault the student, for their textbook says that a thesis statement “states the topic and gives a preview of how the information is presented.”

💯 If you follow the guidelines of mainstream EFL textbooks, that’s a 10/10.

However, unlike language arts writing, which might ask students to describe a special experience or explain the causes of some event, the focus of academic writing is not language but ideas.

Outlines like the one cited above give a fairly straightforward path for practicing language, but when it comes to setting up the pieces of an academic essay — and making your reader care about your essay — this kind of essay introduction fails in academic writing.

Academic Essay Introductions that Work

Little Red Schoolhouse

The Academic and Professional Writing course at the University of Chicago, one of the best writing programs in academia, is also known as the Little Red Schoolhouse. They recommend the following 5-part outline for introductions to academic essays:

1. Stasis
2. Concession
3. Destabilizing Condition
4. Consequence
5. Solution

1. Stasis

A significant idea that contradicts your thesis. You introduce this idea first in order to position your idea against it, so the reader is forced to choose one. (Your essay will convince the reader to reject the Stasis and choose your thesis.)

2. Concession

Don't reject 100% of the Stasis. People generally believe it to be true, so there must be some aspect of the Stasis that is correct, helpful, useful, etc. Be charitable by pointing out the part of the Stasis with which you agree.

3. De-stabilizing Condition

After making a Concession, it's time to point out something that makes the Stasis inaccurate, wrong, outdated, inappropriate, etc. With which aspect of the Stasis do you disagree?

4. Consequences

Now that you've highlighted the part of the Stasis that is wrong, you want to show the reader either the cost of leaving the problem unresolved, or the benefits of resolving it. If you’re writing about a practical situation, highlight the way in which the Stasis relates to a chain of causes and effects that produces an unwanted outcome; if you’re writing about an idea, show how our incorrect or incomplete knowledge prevents us from solving larger, more important questions.

5. Solution

Present your thesis as a solution to that problem.

This structure dovetails nicely with the problem statements outlined by Joseph Williams (18 August 1933 - 22 February 2008) and Gregory Colomb (5 September 1951 – 11 October 2011), who were both professors at the University of Chicago, so if you want to learn more about developing introductions like this, definitely check out what they have to say about writing problem statements→.

The Knight Writing Institute

The Knight Writing Institute at Cornell University offers a series of introductory and advanced academic writing courses. They recommend the following 5-part schema for introductions to academic essays:

1. Opening Premise
2. Insight
3. Limitation
4. Implications
5. Upgrade

1. Opening Premise

A claim that introduces the reader to the topic.

Remember: a claim is a statement about the topic that somebody else might disagree with. It doesn't need to be too controversial, but neither can it be too generic—e.g., if the topic of your essay is 'water,' the statement Water is wet is not a claim because nobody could ever disagree with it; We should build the cities of tomorrow on man-made islands in the ocean is.

The opening premise orients your reader to your topic. Because you’re going to be arguing a controversial point, it’s necessary to this common ground between you and the reader so that they can let their guard down and follow you through the argument.

2. Insight

Similar to the Concession recommended by the Little Red Schoolhouse framework, this part asks you to identify the part of the claim that you appreciate. What makes the claim in the Opening Premise useful in interpreting the problem that your essay attempts to solve?

3. Limitation

What's wrong with this claim (i.e., the Opening Premise)? Is it too broad? Too limited? This is the point at which your argument makes an intervention.

4. Implications

How this claim signals something that we don't understand but should. This opens up a new line of investigation for your essay.

5. Upgrade

Now that your reader has perceived the problem, you can introduce your argument as a Solution or at least as an Upgrade to this ongoing conversation.

Examples of Academic Essay Introductions

Now that we have reviewed two essay introduction frameworks that work in academic writing (and one that does not), we’re in a good position to analyze some examples of essay introductions written by university students.

The Absolute Necessity of College-Level Writing Courses

This essay was provided by the Michigan Corpus of Upper-level Student Papers (MICUSP), a collection of student essays that received an A-grade.

Reading Mike Rose's article, ”The Language of Exclusion: Writing Instruction at the University” only reaffirmed my pre-existing belief of the importance of writing and writing well. It also reaffirmed why I continue to have absolutely no doubt that writing courses should be nothing less than compulsory at universities and colleges. Institutions of higher education should not only continue to offer writing courses, but they should endorse and embrace the teaching of them. It is the higher educational institutions' responsibility and obligation to provide students with opportunities to improve their writing expertise just as it is their responsibility and obligation to provide students with a solid and well-rounded education in which writing plays a rather large role — whether it be a research university or not. I believe that writing is a skill and I do not agree that labeling it as such should be considered the kiss of death. It is common knowledge that universities and colleges teach principles and theories, but in most classroom situations, in order for students to convey to their professors and GSIs that they have grasped the principles and theories that they have been taught, they are required to utilize their skill of writing while taking exams and/or writing papers and they are expected to utilize it well.

Reading Mike Rose's article, The Language of Exclusion: Writing Instruction at the University only reaffirmed my pre-existing belief of the importance of writing and writing well. The writer introduces the topic (the importance of writing) by citing a source with which (presumably) the reader is familiar. The writer doesn't seem very interested in establishing common ground with the author of that article, however; nor does he make any concessions to it. Instead, the writer proceeds rather hastily towards her thesis:

It also reaffirmed why I continue to have absolutely no doubt that writing courses should be nothing less than compulsory at universities and colleges. Institutions of higher education should not only continue to offer writing courses, but they should endorse and embrace the teaching of them. It is the higher educational institutions' responsibility and obligation to provide students with opportunities to improve their writing expertise just as it is their responsibility and obligation to provide students with a solid and well-rounded education in which writing plays a rather large role — whether it be a research university or not. I believe that writing is a skill and I do not agree that labeling it as such should be considered the kiss of death. This is an awfully long way of saying that writing is a skill, not a discipline. Notwithstanding the wordiness, if the tone of the essay introduction seems a little ill-tempered, it’s because the writer hasn’t shown any charity to the ideas addressed in his essay. The writer makes it clear what he thinks without identifying what others think.

It is common knowledge that universities and colleges teach principles and theories, but in most classroom situations, in order for students to convey to their professors and GSIs that they have grasped the principles and theories that they have been taught, they are required to utilize their skill of writing while taking exams and/or writing papers and they are expected to utilize it well. Here we get the introduction of some background information, corresponding to the Stasis of the Little Red Schoolhouse or the Opening Premise of the Knight Institute. Still, the writer shows little appreciation for this point, transitioning away from it not with a Concession or Insight but with a return to his own thesis: writing is a skill that universities should teach.

A Common Fear

The following is a model introduction paragraph from “Great Writing 3: From Paragraphs to Essays,” a popular EFL textbook produced by National Geographic.

According to several recent surveys, the biggest fear of most people is their fear of making a speech in public. More than a fear of spiders or death, public speaking is something that often causes people to break out into a cold sweat, start shaking uncontrollably, and even feel as though they are about to die. Fear of public speaking can come from a number of sources, including childhood events and continuous media attention to the problem. Perhaps more important than the causes of this phobia are the strategies for overcoming fear of public speaking. Many people are unaware that the fear of public speaking in front of others can be overcome by visualization exercises, deep breathing, and preparedness.

According to several recent surveys, the biggest fear of most people is their fear of making a speech in public. The opening of this introductory paragraph provides a surprising statistic. As a hook, this sentence is theoretically meant to capture the attention of the reader. The reason it fails to do so is because it doesn’t target anything that matters. This sentence and the ones that follow fail to answer one of the most basic questions in academic discourse: who cares?

More than a fear of spiders or death, public speaking is something that often causes people to break out into a cold sweat, start shaking uncontrollably, and even feel as though they are about to die. Fear of public speaking can come from a number of sources, including childhood events and continuous media attention to the problem. Here the writer introduces the symptoms and causes of the fear of public speaking, elaborating on the topic and providing a bridge to the thesis.

Perhaps more important than the causes of this phobia are the strategies for overcoming fear of public speaking. Many people are unaware that the fear of public speaking in front of others can be overcome by visualization exercises, deep breathing, and preparedness. The thesis statement introduces the topic (how to overcome a fear of public speaking) and gives a preview of how the essay will be organized, with one paragraph for each of the three main ideas. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this as a piece of expository writing. But it’s simply false to identify this as an example of academic writing. Academic writing, as we have said, is argument writing, and there’s nothing in this paragraph that resembles an opinion. It’s just information, plain and simple.

Ali Abdaal’s Essay Memorization Framework

Ali Abdaal, a YouTuber with over 3 million subscribers, started his channel when he was a student in medical school at Cambridge University. In one view he introduces viewers to his essay memorization framework→, an outline that he could use for virtually any essay.

The historical view in the social sciences has always been that judgements are based solely on content information, with individuals being assumed to form judgements by systematically evaluating all available content information in an unbiased manner. However, over the past three decades a considerable amount of research has challenged this assumption by showing that judgments may be formed not only on the basis of content information (cognitive judgements) but also on the basis of feelings (affective judgement). It is now well accepted that judgement can be both affective and cognitive. Whether it is one or the other depends on a multitude of factors: (1) the salience of the affective feelings, (2) the representativeness of the affective feelings for the target, (3) the relevance of the feelings for the judgement, (4) the evaluative malleability of the judgement and (5) the level of processing intensity. I will discuss these in turn and ultimately argue that generally speaking in day-to-day life, the circumstances are generally those that result in affective rather than cognitive judgements and decision making.

The historical view in the social sciences has always been that judgements are based solely on content information, with individuals being assumed to form judgements by systematically evaluating all available content information in an unbiased manner. We begin with a baseline view of the topic, which sets the stage for the argument to follow. Importantly, the writer introduces not only the topic but a claim: “judgements are based solely on content information.” A claim is a falsifiable statement (i.e., something that someone else can disagree with), and the intervention of this essay is to show that this commonly held view is, in fact, false.

However, over the past three decades a considerable amount of research has challenged this assumption by showing that judgments may be formed not only on the basis of content information (cognitive judgements) but also on the basis of feelings (affective judgement). We move directly into the Destabilizing Condition. A common mistake we see exemplified in this introduction is omission of a Concession or Insight. Even if the writer rejects the Stasis absolutely, it’s important for the argument to pay some consideration to the reasons why others have held the view that the essay argues against.

It is now well accepted that judgement can be both affective and cognitive. Whether it is one or the other depends on a multitude of factors: (1) the salience of the affective feelings, (2) the representativeness of the affective feelings for the target, (3) the relevance of the feelings for the judgement, (4) the evaluative malleability of the judgement and (5) the level of processing intensity. This gives us a preview of the organization of the essay. But it fails to identify why the reader should care. Who cares whether judgement is affective or cognitive? What are the stakes?

I will discuss these in turn and ultimately argue that generally speaking in day-to-day life, the circumstances are generally those that result in affective rather than cognitive judgements and decision making. This would be the thesis statement, which means to correct the common understanding of how judgements are made. But this thesis is a solution without a problem. Without identifying the consequences of our misunderstanding about the nature of judgement, the reader has no way of knowing why she should care.

In Sum

• The hook—connecting information—thesis model for essay introductions is inappropriate for academic writing. University students should abandon it and consider one of the frameworks provided by the writing centers at the University of Chicago and Cornell;
• Good essay introductions identify an important and well-known idea or situation (i.e., the Stasis or Opening Premise). They treat it with some consideration and charity before pointing out the problem with it;
• These introductions also identify the consequences of not solving this problem (or the benefits of solving it). Avoiding these consequences or gaining these benefits is what motivates the reader to read the essay.
• Good essays establish a clear thesis by making a claim that directly contradicts the Stasis or Opening Premise (i.e., if the reader accepts your thesis, she is forced to reject the Stasis).